I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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