I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
