I'm drive I can fine osifer
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
