ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
