I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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