I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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