Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
