i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
