Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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