we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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