My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
