It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
