That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
two words...techno handjob
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize