He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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