U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I cannot find my penis.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
