got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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