are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
