chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
