Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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