Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
