...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
