we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We left the knife in your bed.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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