Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Im part way to drunk.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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