I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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