distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
