He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Still dying that you shit outside
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
