she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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