im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
