Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Randomize
