Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
