He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I lost the right to judge tonight
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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