I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
