she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize