OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Send help, water and tortillas.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
