I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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