If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
