I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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