awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize