How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
