Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
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