I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
