I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
