I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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