PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
