ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
