too bad you live with your parents still
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
