I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize