Im at strip club and am horny
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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