Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
