Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
