needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
