I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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