What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
