all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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