I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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