we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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