Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
