It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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