My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She told me I should be a condom model.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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